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Oj Oj November 20, 2012

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Anyone out there ?

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I miss blogging ! April 4, 2012

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I miss blogging !

I also miss my Dad terribly, who was born on this day in 1928!  RIP Da.

Strike 1 … wait, no … Strike 57,000,000,000 August 18, 2010

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Where has all the fuss about Ivor Callely gone ?

This country is great – you can do whatever the sweet f*ck you want ! And get away with it …

Shameless self promotion June 21, 2010

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Please vote for us to win this holiday competition – shameless self promotion, I know – but sure isn’t that what the interweb is for ?

Click here to vote (please) !

Phrase of the Day #217 June 10, 2010

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TO be roared at somebody who is not performing well … for example, at the upcoming World Cup!

“Jaysis Chrissht [insert name here], you’re worse than a man short !”

A serious image editing tool June 9, 2010

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http://pixlr.com/editor/

All online … all cool !

Chinese Painted Dogs ! June 8, 2010

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My God – what will these people think of next ? Children dressed up as Nazis ?  Oh wait, that’s my hometown !

Wrong, wrong, wrong and then wrong some more !!

Ladies & Gentlemen, Your Opposition ! June 2, 2010

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Go on – humor me – go to Fine Gael’s new website and play the game they seemingly thought would be a brilliant idea to get the country back on track !

It shows that our opposition parties have zero clue about how to really influence the result of the next general election.  It’s as if they will get elected by magic next time out and Fianna Failed are going to just dry up.

Well let me tell you something Enda and chums, Fianna Failed are a national institution with zealously loyal supporters at every level, high and low, of this society – and I mean everywhere.  They could commit ethnic cleansing and still they would be popular … so if you think that a new website and a silly game which whacks corrupt politicians over the head will make you more popular, then you are worse than I thought.

Why aren’t the opposition getting every available canvasser and local party man and knocking, policy documents in hand, on every door of the country, every day of the week ?

These f*ckers in the Dáil will not succumb to a video game a fancy website with a big picture of Enda Kenny on it as opposed to in-your-face policies … it will take a gargantuan effort to get them out … and to get you lot in !  These people rely on the apathy of Irish voters to their corruption – they rely on us not giving a shit.

You have it arse about-face Fine Gael, I’m afraid … I await the knock on the door from a Fine Gaeler with positive glee !

Cover Spy May 26, 2010

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A shout out goes to the folks behind the very interesting CoverSpy

People (well New Yorkers anyway) can send in the names of the books they see fellow commuters reading on trains or whatever and they are collated into an interesting page of insight on what New York is reading on any given day …

Nigel Place May 19, 2010

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Nige on Balcony TV

Fish sandwich – uuurgh May 18, 2010

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Mum: What would you like on your sandwich for school today Ana ?
Ana : Fish !!

Irish National Famine Memorial Day May 16, 2010

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Today is Irish National Famine Memorial Day … let us remember those millions who died or emigrated.

Ar dhies De go raibh siad …

A Site for Nerds May 16, 2010

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A site for nerds, people who, as a kid, read phone books and atlases for fun (who me ?) and all around interesting stuff …

WIRED.COM

A Prayer of Thanks May 13, 2010

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Thanksgiving

For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food,
For love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.

– Emerson

Phrase of the Day #213 May 13, 2010

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The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

– Edmund Burke

Phrase of the Day #212 May 11, 2010

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“It’s the soul’s duty to be loyal to its own desires. It must abandon itself to its master passion.”
– Rebecca West

F*ck the Pope ! May 7, 2010

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Not literally like … but you understand where the writer of this song is coming from, no ?

Bad joke May 4, 2010

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Jesus told Peter, “Come forth and I will grant you eternal life”.

Peter came fifth and won a toaster.

The Fires of Hell … April 28, 2010

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Riddle me this – it’s kind of a half-serious post even if it all just spewed out at once in a humourous way !

The subject is Hell, Hades, the Underworld, Jahannam, call it what you will … where the bad guys end up and somewhere with a complete and irreversible separation from God.  We are wondering what to teach the kids about Hell because the youngest will go to a religious run school and is scared of big, scary monsters like the devil and the concept of the prospect of everlasting torture !  Funny that !

So if the fires of hell are everlasting, as we are taught, they mustn’t be very burny (sic) unless they had an endless supply of flammable material …

Seeing as, at some point in time, the world will end with the coming of God, presumably no humans will be born from then on … and therefore by logical following, there will eventually be a finite number of souls to be burned in hell (even taking into account those fellas eventually thrown out of heaven), meaning that the fire at some point would have nothing to burn ?

– and therefore of course, couldn’t be everlasting … unless in the first place, as mentioned above, it wasn’t burny and only a Mickey Mouse fire, for pure show – one that didn’t really burn you because something cannot be burned indefinitely without disappearing asunder like …

So I think they are either wrong about the fire in that you just get burned alive but it only lasts for as long as your soul lasts in terms of disintegration …

Or

By logical conclusion, there’s no such thing as hell …

And just on that last point, isn’t the greatest trick the divil ever pulled, convincing the world that he didn’t exist – or that maybe his big fire wasn’t as bad as it actually is !!?

Just wondering like … we have to kinda start teaching our kids some religion !

Réabhlóid Abú ! April 26, 2010

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It’s my new catchphrase ! Like it ?

Ah Bless Him ! April 26, 2010

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So funny for anyone with kids !

Phrase of the Day #211 April 22, 2010

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“I can’t believe it,” said the tourist.

“I’ve been here an entire week and it’s done nothing but rain. When do you have summer here?”

“Well, that’s hard to say,” replied the local.

“Last year, it was on a Wednesday.”

Birdeeeeee ! Tweet Tweet April 20, 2010

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My kid has learned to say “Birdeeeeee ! Tweet Tweet !”

15 months old … bless his missing socks 🙂

Recipe calls for ‘salt and black people’ April 20, 2010

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Sack the editor !!

This is quite an amazing gaffe when you think about it – perhaps it shows the perils of not having the script read by a human – the spelling was right but the context and words certainly weren’t !

Penguin Group Australia has binned and reprinted ‘Pasta Bible’ after one method called for “salt and freshly ground black people” to be added to the dish.

VolcaaaNOOOOOOO !! April 19, 2010

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So there we were, half-way round the M50, making good time to the airport and the wife gets a text from my worried mother back home.  4.30 am !  Kids asleep in the back.

“Eh” says she, “There’s been a volcanic eruption in Iceland and they might be cancelling flights!”

“A what ?” says I “Sure how would that mean we can’t fly to Scotland?”

And so we park, get the bags in order, wake the kids and trek into the departures lounge … I open the door … and am hit by what can only be described as mayhem of epic proportions.  Thousands upon thousands of people !  Literally.  Going nowhere and getting antsy.

“They shoulda feckin toald us!” shouted one Dubliner to nobody in particular … followed by a curt “Dis is a loada bleedin shite!” from his scantily clad and equally neanderthal companion. I could sense our trip was doomed !

A quick glance at the board tells us all we need to know – all flights grounded for the foreseeable future and nobody to find information from … and then I spot it.  Two lads attempting to join ‘the queue’ to the Ryanair “information” desk … manned, despite the barbarian hordes at their gates, by 2 – yes, 2 – blue clad ladies.

These young fellas – obviously not able to speak English – were accosted by an abrupt “Oi!” from a white-clad airport security type older lady who pointed them in the general direction of about 400 other people further away from the queue they were trying to join.

“We book again!” complained one of them “We stand here no ?”

A classic Irish reply which added to their confusion “No love, I don’t care where you stand, but you’re not standing here !”  and so they were swept away in an ocean of other bodies to stand at the back of the 4 section, snaking queue to the Ryanair desk.

A passing American lady and her husband – who at least had some chance of getting home – entertained the onlookers with cries of “I just don’t know Manny, I just don’t goddamn know!”

Another bemused Wesht of Ireland man sighed “Ah Jaysus Noel they’ve cancelled the whole feckin place” before heading off in the direction of the already packed bar.

Just a few little ditties from the airport on a Thursday morning when a feckin volcano decides to go off … at least we can’t blame it on Fianna Fáil !