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I don’t like chefs ! November 2, 2007

Posted by Rambling Man in General Bloggery.
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I don’t like chefs … and let me go so far as to say I’ve only met one professional chef, whom upon reflection I haven’t thought up his own arse or having an ego the size of Kav’s knob !

This dislike of culinary people (those I’ve met, not the ones on TV) is a bit of a quandary because I love food – but generally dislike the ones who make it.

My first bad experience of a chef on a mission to destroy all who crossed him (and that could include someone saying “Hi”) was on my unforgettable J1 summer in the good old U S of A. I was working in a rather posh country club on Long Island and I was, being straight off the boat, terribly naive when I look back on it. I arrived at this club on my own and found nobody there but 2 disinterested and possibly drunk Mexican bus boys and nobody else. So I put my stuff in my room (there was a sign on the door) and set about getting something to eat ! I made the mistake of walking into the empty kitchen without knocking, genuflecting and lowering my puny immigrant head to the pasty looking sous chef who had appeared and was sitting quietly in the corner just observing …. waiting for the newbie to make a mistake.

And make one I did – I quite brazenly ….. wait for it …. walked up the wrong side of one of the prep counters to where the glasses were stored ! How dare I !

All of a sudden weasel man  was in my face, f*cking and blinding and asking who I was and who I thought I was (identity crisis ?) and what the F this and F that I was doing there … and “you people” go this side “we” go that side, you stupid Irish son of a bitch etc. etc. and I was surprised at my reaction … I laughed in the bastard’s face – thus driving him even more bonkers …

So much so that the next work day, he hauled me up in front of the head chef who happened to be reading my CV at the time and when weasel man  dressed me down in front of him, he just laughed in his face too ! And thus, in the space of two days I met the only chef I ever liked and the one I disliked the most … turns out the head chef’s grandfather was from the same town in Germany where I went to university …

But all through that summer weasely  made it his job to piss me off – and all because I walked the wrong way to get a glass of water !

And so my dislike of chefs was born … and continued when I worked in a well known hotel in Dublin where the commis didn’t like having to make food for the staff … and so we ate the spare steak and stuff from the service the night before and “yisser feckin lucky to get it !” …

Or the one in the “restaurant” in Ennis, Co.Clare who I saw and challenged for cleaning his nails with a kitchen knife and then chop something with it ! Or the arsehole at the last Xmas party who laughed a knowing, nasal and condescending laugh at me for putting a little salt on my spuds ! or that idiot Ramsay on the TV who treats people like shit and you wonder why because on the face of it he seems a nice guy (and a good chef) but gets off on being the big-wig, ranting and raving …

That was a rant on behalf of the section of my brain who looks after the records on which people we like and don’t like – when consulted it said “Blog about chefs ! Everyone hates a bad chef !” and so I did …

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Comments»

1. laurie - November 2, 2007

have you read “kitchen confidential”? that didn’t make me hate chefs, but it did make me fear them…

2. Rambling Man - November 2, 2007

i’ve seen the book but not read it. i could tell you some scary kitchen stories too !


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