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You know you’re in Ireland when … July 3, 2007

Posted by Rambling Man in Ireland & the Irish.
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Following on from yesterday’s post about announcements and the way there seems to be a set syntax and stupid way of saying a lot of things in this country, here follows an attempt to ease our foreign friends into our unique way of speaking and some of the colourful and plain bizarre stuff they might hear …

You know you’re in Ireland when … at a GAA match, in summer, there are ice cream guys who go round shouting “Ices, ices, tubs of ices” when they really mean ice-cream.

You know you’re in Ireland when … at the same GAA match, an official comes over the public address system and says “Would the owner of a red Opel Cadet, regis-trAYYYshen number ” ZERO 5 C – WAN 4 3 8 ” please move it, as it’s causing an awful obstruction.”

You know you’re in Ireland when … “both teams play as selected on the program” no matter which ground you are in.

You know you’re in Ireland when … we say “Sorry” when we really mean “Excuse me”

You know you’re in Ireland when … a stall holder says “Anyone for the last of the strawberries” when there is a half tonne of the damned things behind him on the street.

You know you’re in Ireland when … the same stall holder says “Anyone else there now for the hats, flags or headbands”, thus ensuring a huge rush to his merchandise because someone else bought it !

You know you’re in Ireland when … on a train, the driver says “All passengers for Portlaoise, please move towards the front of the carraige in order to alight safley at the platform” – yes some of our trains are so long, and some platforms so short, that you can’t always get out of the carraige the same way you got in !

You know you’re in Ireland when … you ask an oul lad at the side of the road for directions, and he says either (A) Well I wouldn’t start from here anyway or (B) he’s Polish.

You know you’re in Ireland when … at the end of the night in a pub you hear “Have yis no homes to go to ?” and they mean it !

You know you’re in Ireland when … the Gardaí say the would like to “speak to anyone in the area at the time of the incident who saw the VEHICKLE acting suspiciously” because they didn’t see ANTIN.

You know you’re in Ireland when … “All Day Breakfast” means that it is actually served from 9am to 1pm.

and finally …

You know you’re in Ireland when … you’re at a raffle and the winner is always “a salmon coloured ticket” !!

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Comments»

1. theswissjob - July 3, 2007

Beautiful stuff,

After being home at the weekend I can agree with those and many more. Quadruple parking comes to mind, tractors on the motorway, breakfast rolls, assortment packs of taytos…the list goes on and on. It’s all great in small doses, a lovely little country if only you could roof her!

2. laurie - July 3, 2007

you know you’re in ireland when you spell ton “tonne”!

3. laurie - July 3, 2007

ps love the directions one. one time in ireland i was trying to find the Mallow Road, and i asked a woman who was out for a walk. her answer, i swear to god, was, “well, it might be, and it might not be, but it’s a beauiful day to be lost!”

and speaking of all-day breakfast; we were at a pub in glencolumbcille one time that had a signboard advertising vegetable soup. wasn’t vegetable soup at all, at least not what i thikn of as vegetable soup. it was mushroom soup, and a thinner, greyer, less hearty soup i have never had…

4. GerryOS - July 3, 2007

I remember being at a rugby match in Musgrave Park in Cork one evening, when an announcement came over the loudspeaker “Would de owner of a red Toyota Corolla, registration number 05C12345, parked on Evergreen Road, please remove it as it is causing an obstruction.”

About twenty minutes later, another announcement: “Would de owner of a red Toyota Corolla, registration number 05C12345, parked on Torytop Road, please remove it as it is causing an obstruction.”

The exact same car. You can just imagine the owner, having moved the car once, returning to the match and hearing the second announcement. “Ah, for f*ck’s sake, la…”

5. Rambling Man - July 3, 2007

thats hilarious gerry ! it wasn’t yours be any chance ?

laurie – i think a lot of restaurants and food joints think “homemade” soup is one prepared at home rather than actually made, cooked and served at home – i.e. powdered stuff out of a packet is still “homemade” if its prepared at home …

and the spellings – we’ve a few more – program/programme, catalogue/catalog …

6. limerick gal - July 3, 2007

Spot on there! Ahhh the memories!


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