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An old one but a good one May 31, 2007

Posted by Rambling Man in Poetry & Humor.
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Johnny Ryan walks into a pub and orders 3 pints in 3 glasses. He walks to a table, sits down, and drinks each drink one at a time. When he was finished he went up to get 3 more.

The bar man said, “Why do you get three different drinks at a time ?”

Johnny said, “When my two brothers moved away we all promised that every day we would drink a pint for eachother.”

The bar man said, “Jaysis that’s great altogether !”

So Johnny did this for a number of months. But one day he walked in and only ordered two pints. Everybody looked up and bowed their head. When Johnny walked up to the bar man, the bar man said, “I am so sorry about your brother.”

Johnny looked at him and said, “Oh no, tis all right – I’m just off the drink for Lent !”

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1. GerryOS - May 31, 2007

Guy walks into a bar and orders five double shots of whiskey. The barman lines them up, and the guy downs them all in rapid succession.

“Whoa!” says the barman. “No need to knock them back so fast.”

“Well you would too” says the guy, “If you had what I have.”

“Oh, shit! Sorry to hear that. What do you have?”

The guy slaps a coin on the counter.

“Only 50 cents” he says, and legs it.

2. laurie - May 31, 2007

ok both of those made me laugh.

i’ll rack my brains for a good bar joke. i’ll be back….

3. Rambling Man - May 31, 2007

gerry you’re lost on whatever job you have !

4. GerryOS - May 31, 2007

Another one that could be filed under “Old but Good”:

A woman walks into a bar and asks the barman for a double entendre.

So he gave her one.

5. Rambling Man - May 31, 2007

i never understood that one until i was about 21 !

6. Laurie - May 31, 2007

ok, i’m back and i’m funny. here goes:

A penguin walks into a bar, goes to the counter, and asks the bartender, “Have you seen my brother?”

The bartender says, “I don’t know, what does he look like?”

hahahaha ok all these bar jokes are making me thirsty.

7. Rambling Man - May 31, 2007

laurie i’m afraid i have to give that one the thumbs down ! its nearly as bad as the one where the three legged dog walks into a bar and says “I’m lookin’ fer the man who shot my paw !”

8. GerryOS - May 31, 2007

Three pieces of string walk into a bar. One piece of string walks up to the bar and orders a pint each for himself and his friends.

The barman says “Sorry, bud. We don’t serve pieces of string here.”

The piece of string goes back to his friends and tells them what happened. One of the other pieces of string says he will try to get served. So off he goes to the bar, wearing a pair of comedy glasses and a moustache that have appeared to hand for no reason other than the progress of this joke.

“Three pints, please” he asks of the barman. The barman looks at him for a minute and says “You’re a piece of string, aren’t you?”

“Yes”, admits the piece of string, realising that his disguise was as crap as this joke. He skulks off back to his friends.

The third piece of string has a plan. He shakes his head loose, so that his individual strands disentangle from one another. Off he goes to the bar, and with a clear, steady voice orders three pints.

The barman looks at him and says “You’re one of those pieces of string, aren’t you?”

“No”, replies the piece of string. “I’m a frayed knot.”

9. Rambling Man - June 1, 2007

groan !


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