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Heart attack in a Box March 20, 2007

Posted by Rambling Man in General Bloggery, Ireland & the Irish.
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I feel I have to do a little piece about the shite that gets served at so-called ‘deli’ counters in most major supermarkets and corner shops in this country.

The word ‘delicatessen’ literally (from the German) means delicat/essen, or delicate or light eating. Some rotten bastard in Ireland obviously translated it as “Heart attack in a Box” and it caught on …

salad.jpg Take the terribly named ‘salad bar’ in my local nationwide food chain … every feckin’ thing in it is either swimming in mayonnaise or drowning in oil of some sort.

There’s not a dry salad option in sight, save for a dish container of sorry looking lettuce that has long wilted under the strong lights.

Potato salad in mayonnaise, potato salad in low-fat mayonnaise, tuna with mayonnaise, apples and celery with mayonnaise, beans and tomatoes with mayonnaise, rice in oil … need I say more ? And I’ve often seen them come around and give the various containers a good stir to break up that cruddy crust that forms on top of the salads because they’ve been exposed so long. It reminds me of my school dinners where, towards the end of the week, the tea ladies would pour fresh mayonnaise in on top of Monday’s salad, give it a good stir and slop it up to us. Sure we knew no better !

There is a lack of simple, healthy lunch options or a restaurant where you can go and get, as the man said, “a simple oul sallid” without all the trappings of modern heart-attack inducing condiments … at least there’s none where I live. If I opened one, would they come ? Alas, I think burgers and chips and tuna enfused mayonnaise is what the modern Irish palette craves …

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Comments»

1. irishflirtysomething - March 20, 2007

Could not agree more. The worse thing is that most people do believe these “salads” are healthy. Trying to get a decent not sandwich or fattening lunch is almost impossible.

2. laurie - March 21, 2007

yuck. that’s not what i think of when i think of a salad bar.
i think of lettuce, tomatoes, hard boiled eggs, chickpeas, carrots, cukes!
nothing with mayo. unless the chickpeas were grown in county mayo, of course.

3. Rambling Man - March 21, 2007

right ! what are cukes though ? i thought you guys were off to france soon ? they love their mayo over there !

4. laurie - March 22, 2007

we leave friday april 13. no bad luck there i hope….

cukes=cucumbers.


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