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Trouble at the end of the garden … July 28, 2006

Posted by Rambling Man in General Bloggery.

Did you ever wonder what goes through a person’s mind when they are about to leave their house for the last time and move to a new house ? Will they be thinking “I’ll miss this old place”, or “I can’t wait to put my own impression on our new house” or will they be thinking more sinister thoughts like “Those bast*rds buying this house – I’ll leave them a present they won’t forget in a hurry !”.

Well it seems the previous occupants of our current abode were more in the latter category when it came to vacating … It all came flooding back to me the other evening when cutting “the back”. Isn’t it funny the stuff people leave behind them when moving … well it’s not funny, it’s just plain scary ! In scenes reminiscent of great archaeological discoveries, my ageing lawnmower suddenly let out a grumbling, muffled stutter simultaneously dispensing a round and grotty looking projectile in my general direction.

Ducking and diving, I managed to avoid it and see the said projectile slam off the kitchen window and fall harmlessly to the ground. Upon closer inspection the missile was revealed to be none other than the severed head of a once proud Malibu Barbie ! I shit you not !

And that’s not all – when we first moved into the house, some 4 years ago, there was a whole colony of barbies living in the back of the garden ! Clean ones, naked ones, perfectly new ones, dismembered ones … it was shocking ! My guess was that the little girl who previously owned them was forced to rather rapidly leave with her parents and she hadn’t time to pack them.

The overactive side of my brain suggested that the barbies had staged a bitch-riot and refused to leave their known home in favour of another house. They had somehow escaped and made their way into the back garden and when they came up against the end of the known world (i.e. the garden gate) had made camp and prospered for a short while. That is, until they realised they had been abandoned to their own devices, devoid of all dressing-up, dolly accoutrements and fine living and the civilisation had floundered, eventually dying in the harsh undergrowth.

I think I think too much.



1. Darren - January 3, 2007

I would just like to say that i find your blog extremely enjoyable to read.

2. Rambling Man - January 3, 2007

thanks darren – i enjoy writing it !

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