Ah bloggery ! You’ve gotta love it … so it’s about time the show got back on the road so to speak and I started writing a little bit again.

I’m working on something at the moment which hopefully will kick off the blog again and provide me with a platform of self encouragment … that’s right … like thousands before me, I am going on a lifestyle changing diet and will document my progress here.

Suffices to say that having tried lots of diets and regimes and other barmy stuff that just didn’t work, I now feel equipped to go it alone … who knows ? I may even have fun along the way …

More anon

So its been a while since I last posted – I’m finding myself more and more tired as the year goes on !  Must be all the rain and economic depression.

But I thought I’d share is this … a couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine was getting married and as a last hurrah (without any actual hurrah) we decided on a quiet boy’s night out at a local “ould man’s pub” type place … snooker hall in the back, plenty of drinks and good craic … it was one of those nights the rain was so bad that you got just as wet with the water coming up off the ground as you did with the stuff coming out of the sky !  Pissing down wasn’t the word !

And so we ended our tenure in pub number one and set out to find somewhere else that would allow 7 quite drunken lads in through the door – it was only half 9 – it just seemed a long time because we’d been out since about 4.  And so it was, that in dodging the worst rain showers we’d seen since the summer of the black spuds, we huddled in a doorway of one of the most famous pubs in Ireland – Tommy Maher’s.  And whats more we were let in and served !

Now you see Tommy Maher’s is legendary for more reasons that one – very  politically incorrect reasons !  For a start, no members of the fairer sex are allowed darken the door – that’s right !  No women !  Actually that’s not quite true because since the man himself passed away a few years ago, his good wife has been running the place.  She was working behind the bar this night too !  No stools to sit on either – stand up and drink !

So no women – and strange opening hours – when the clock struck ten past ten, the barman said quite politely “That’s it now lads, five minutes !” and everyone there (us and about 5 others) began to make shapes – not a place where you complain or bargain for more drink !

It would be cliche of me to state that two women did try to come in (but they did) – a young wan (showing leg wouldn’t you know !) and an older companion and were roundly turned on their heel and put out – or maybe they realised where they were and left of their own accord – we were just too delighted to have been served in such a legendary place.  Tis often you’d hear reports of 2 or 3 friends trying to come in and only 1 or 2 of them being allowed – the barman deciding when you’d had enough etc.  And to top it all off, the toilets are an out house in the back yard – surely not up to modern health & safety but brilliant all the same.

So its the type of place you might be lucky enough to find yourself in once or
twice in 20 odd years … I’m glad I experienced the warm pints from the barrels just under the counter … just once !

Gotta love this article from the Times Online …

Shit – I hope this doesn’t happen …

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl ‘Will you marry me?’

The girl said, ‘NO!’

And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.

The End

This is well worth sticking in your RSS queue !

The worst thing I have ever heard a child say:

via Alpha Mummy – Times Online – WBLG: The worst thing I have ever heard a child say

I’ll have to think about the worst thing our daughter has said – and there are a few !

A dinner lady faces the sack from a school in Essex, for telling parents the full details about an attack on their daughter.  The kid was tied up with a rope and beaten about the legs and arms in a disgraceful bullying incident !

The school wrote (!) to the parents telling them about the attack but excluded some details … I mean first of all, why would you just write and not hop straight in a car and drive the poor kid home, via a cop shop to scare the shite out of the perpetrators !?

Anyway, now this dinner lady is facing the sack because she discussed a school matter outside – even though she told the parents of the bullied child concerned !

This world is gone PC, stone mad !!

Read the full article here.

My Only Lions Test

by the Rambling Man

Last night I dreamed a lovely dream, like I’ve never dreamed before
I dreamed I was a Lion and touched down the winning score
their backline was a little flat, plain for all to see
As I chased down the grubber kick by the girl who makes the tea

I cross and dived, just left of post and smothered the rugby ball
three lads dived too, all red clad men, waiting for the call
the referee he raised his hand and we were in the lead
twas only then I realised, to pee I had a need !

I walked past Shane Williams (!), who was lining up the kick
and I remember thinking, Jaysis O’Gara must be sick
and then in that dreamlike way, the pitch was nowhere to be seen
I had obviously found the toilet, just what could it mean ?

Then the rest of the team were heading home and making for the bus
I was taking their congratulations, amidst the winning fuss
Darren Clarke shook my hand, for he had played scrum half
and the man that runs our golf shop, also joined the laugh

At last as I began to wake, I realised I was going mad
Bull Hayes was walking round my room, looking really sad
the local man who delivers milk had just blocked his clearance down
and was charging over the line again, sliding on the ground
the milkman wore a dark green shirt, shattering all our hope
and the Lions had lost my only test. I dream like such a dope !

I’m not well of late so this will have to suffice …

Northsider girl in bed with her boyfriend says, ‘ How dare you call me a slapper, get out of my bed right now and take your mates with you! ‘

… why Superman stops bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

For the day that’s in it !

I was never a big Michael Jackson fan although I am sad that he is gone. My one outstanding memory of things Whacko Jacko related is when the video “Thriller” came out in the 80s we were banned from watching it !

Dead people dancing about !?  Not for my young eyes !

Embedding is disabled on You Tube but you can see the video here.