I feel I have to do a little piece about the shite that gets served at so-called ‘deli’ counters in most major supermarkets and corner shops in this country.

The word ‘delicatessen’ literally (from the German) means delicat/essen, or delicate or light eating. Some rotten bastard in Ireland obviously translated it as “Heart attack in a Box” and it caught on …

Take the terribly named ’salad bar’ in my local nationwide food chain … every feckin’ thing in it is either swimming in mayonnaise or drowning in oil of some sort. There’s not a dry salad option in sight, save for a dish container of sorry looking lettuce that has long wilted under the strong lights.

Potato salad in mayonnaise, potato salad in low-fat mayonnaise, tuna with mayonnaise, apples and celery with mayonnaise, beans and tomatoes with mayonnaise, rice in oil … need I say more ? And I’ve often seen them come around and give the various containers a good stir to break up that cruddy crust that forms on top of the salads because they’ve been exposed so long. It reminds me of my school dinners where, towards the end of the week, the tea ladies would pour fresh mayonnaise in on top of Monday’s salad, give it a good stir and slop it up to us. Sure we knew no better !

There is a lack of simple, healthy lunch options or a restaurant where you can go and get, as the man said, “a simple oul sallid” without all the trappings of modern heart-attack inducing condiments … at least there’s none where I live. If I opened one, would they come ? Alas, I think burgers and chips and tuna enfused mayonnaise is what the modern Irish palette craves …

Technorati tags : food : irish delis : supermarkets : bad food